This post is written by Chris Dunbar, our Sexual Health Outreach Worker.
When it comes to activity in the bedroom, no one can tell you what you can and can’t do. Trying new things often makes it more exciting and fun, particularly if you are the adventurous type. The important thing is to make sure you do things safely.
So, lets take the plunge, and explore the less commonly talked about act of fisting.
Right, so where do we begin? Just like with fisting, let’s not just dive straight in. Let’s take some time to prepare. Let’s look at some of the history, facts, and risks associated, then we can lube ourselves up and learn some techniques and tips to give it a go.
What is Fisting?
So, as the name suggests, fisting is a sexual activity in which a hand is inserted into the rectum or vagina. Once the hand is inside, the fingers can be clenched into a fist or kept straight, this is down to personal preference or choice. Although commonly practised with a second person, fisting can be performed solo.
Other names may include: handballing, fist fucking, hoofing, fister, giving a Muppet, or the five-finger butt blast, to give just a few.
The History
Although it is believed by Robert Morgan Lawrence, a sexual educator, that the practice may date back thousands of years, it is very sparsely documented until the twentieth century. In general, fisting was more commonly practised among gay males. In the seventies and eighties, the act became more popular, thanks to the world’s most famous fisting club, Catacombs, located in San Francisco.
Some of the Risks
Fisting is often classed as a more extreme sexual act and therefore, of course, it comes with greater risks.
Risks can include:
- Laceration of the rectum, colon or vagina. This can result in serious injury, subsequent infections, and in extreme cases, this can be fatal.
- During fisting of the vagina, air can enter and get trapped. This can lead to something called an air embolism, which is potentially fatal. This risk is even higher during pregnancy.
- Fisting of the anus can cause a risk of colorectal perforation (tearing of the colorectal wall).
- The practice of fisting (or inserting any hard object) into the anus causes traumatisation of the rectal mucosa. This increases the likelihood of infection, including Hepatitis B and HIV.
Right then, with that out of the way, let’s get prepared to start. Although I would say that we are not quite ready to get elbows deep just yet.
As you can imagine, taking a fist is slightly different to taking a penis. It takes time and preparation to get there.
Things you may need:
- Lube (and lots of it)
- Rubber gloves
- Douche
- Anal training toys (not a necessity)
Lube: choosing the right lube for the job is important. You want to make the experience as enjoyable as possible. There is a wide selection of lubes available specifically created for fisting, so it is worth the investment to reduce the risk of injury.
Below is a link you may find useful for sourcing the right lube:
https://toywithme.com/best-lube-for-fisting/
Rubber gloves: there is no rule to say that you have to wear gloves, but as fisting explores deeper into the anus than most things have gone before, there is higher risk of faeces finding its way under fingernails or similar.
Gloves will also slightly help protect your insides from been scratched by fingernails.
Douche: although this is optional, giving yourself a clean inside will make the experience a lot more pleasant for all those involved.
Douches are readily available online and in certain shops.
Anal training toys: again, these are not a necessity. Using fingers to start, then slowly increasing the amount of the hand inserted can work just as well. However, exploring with toys and gradually increasing the size can make the run up to fisting an enjoyable experience for you (and your partner).
Toys of many shapes and sizes are readily available online and in certain shops.
Right, we’ve been shopping, cleaned ourselves, had a good play (damn, those three fingers felt so good at the time). So let’s look how we take this fist.
Position
It’s probably not going to work too well if you are standing in an upright position. So, you want to make sure you are as comfortable as possible, nice and relaxed.
Solo fisting: it is best to lie on your side with your knees bent so you are comfortable. You then want to reach around and insert a couple of fingers to start, then gradually increase up until you are ready to take the full hand.
Fisting with a partner: you can either lay face down with your legs apart with your partner sat or knelt next to you, or you could arch up or get on all fours with your legs apart and have your partner kneel behind you.
Make sure you are relaxed.
Hand shape
Despite the name, the hand is rarely in a fist-like position. A clenched fist is very unlikely (unless you are experienced in fisting) to enter with ease.
The hand needs to be in a ‘beak-like’ position, keeping all five fingers (yes, I’m calling your thumb a finger) straight and closely held together. Then slowly insert the hand into the rectum.
There is a practice called ‘punchfisting’. This method, as the name suggests, is the insertion of a clenched fist into the rectum, typically thrusting it in and out. In general, this is reserved for those who have engaged in fisting before (a few times) or are experienced taking larger toys.
All I will say is lube, lube, and more lube!
What’s next?
So, your partner (if you are doing this with one) is sat next to you with their hand looking like a duck’s head (though hopefully not going quack quack) – now let’s get it in.
Make sure you use enough lube, and if it gets dry or starts to pull the skin, apply more! This will help reduce the risk of ripping or damaging the soft tissues. Taking a breath and holding it in while the hand is being inserted can help reduce any initial pain that you may feel. Slowly, the hand can be inserted into the rectum, gently thrusting in.
Make sure that you are going at a pace that you are happy with. If you are too fast, it can cause you to clench up and tighten, which will cause pain and increase the risk of damage.
For this sort of sexual act, it is important that you are with someone you trust. Having a safe word, which can be called out at any time you feel you have to stop, may be a good suggestion. If the safe word is called, the act must stop immediately, as consent is no longer given to carry on.
Everything has gone to plan and the hand is in! Enjoy the ride!
Afterwards
That was an enjoyable, but tiring, experience. Time to clean up and relax. Have a shower to wash away any of the nasties and excess lube, followed by a nice, relaxing bath. This can help to relieve any tension and reduce any soreness.
Things to look out for: some minor pain is to be expected (you’re taking something pretty big up a small hole) – taking things slowly, using plenty of lube, and changing the motion used can help relieve this. Taking deep breaths can help as well.
If the pain is more severe, like sharp shooting pains or throbbing, then gently remove the hand and stop. Give yourself a few days to recover. You can always try again once things have settled down, just remember to slowly work your way up again. If you continue to feel pain, then seek medical advice.
A small amount of blood may be visible initially. This should resolve quickly, and shouldn’t be too much to worry about. But if the bleeding continues for more than a couple of minutes or there is a lot of blood, then stop immediately and seek medical advice.
Keep up to date with your sexual health screening – remember there is a higher risk of HIV and Hepatitis B transmission due to the nature of this practice and increased risk of damaging blood vessels.
Whether fisting is for you or it isn’t, trying new things with (or without) a partner can be healthy for a relationship, or for finding confidence within your own skin.
Well, what a journey we have been through together. I hope you have enjoyed this little walk through the act of fisting.
